I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
