Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Randomize
