Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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