Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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