I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
this is an emotional support booty call
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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