i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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