so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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