So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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