You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
