my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize