im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
