Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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