are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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