I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
