She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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