There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
