she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
