i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
