im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
