Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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