I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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