You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
