Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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