tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
