I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
