i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
