Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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