i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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