i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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