hotel room ftw
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize