I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
