my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
