the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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