i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think my fart just growled at me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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