He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
