What a fucking waste of an outfit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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