I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he shaved USA in his pubs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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