I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
