i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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