I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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