Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I see more hoeing in ur future
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
