i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
