I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
