Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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