Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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