you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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