I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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