Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
