You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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