I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Farmville is her only friend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
