do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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