I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We have started to decorate penises.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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