i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
