This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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