SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize