You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
