she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
