Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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