there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Every concussion has its silver lining
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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