To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize