So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
