There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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