im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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