She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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