so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
