pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
