"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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