Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
