I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
