My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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